Essay
The Summer

The Summer

El verano

Adriana Díaz Enciso

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We come back from the Lake District’s coolness and drizzle at the end of June, just when a new heat wave starts in the UK. The last day in Ambleside and, briefly, in Windermere, is warm and sunny—a perfect day. And therefore deceptive. The return to London flings us at once into another reality. It is summer, yes, but not as we knew it, nor as we expected it.

The strangeness of these months is hallucinatory. Memories are blurred; days merge into a single formless mortar dominated by the heat, its tyranny. On several occasions B. and I renounce our regular long walks. But wasn’t this what we had all been waiting for, after the long (and very cold) winter? The sun’s radiance, the greenery still present, gift of a beautiful springtime in which we had copious rainfall, make us think at moments that everything is fine. It is summer! Summer at last! But it suffices to step outside to be crushed by the overpowering griddle of that very same sun, now merciless.

Flats and houses become stifling, the air unbreathable. Buildings in these latitudes aren’t made for this torrid new reality.

They talk about several heat waves between June and August, but in my perception, it has been a single endless wave, with bigger or lesser peaks, but relentless.

One day (end of June, or is it July already?) I go out, desperate, to look for a big electric fan. My modest fans, perfectly adequate for London’s summer up to this year, are now clearly insufficient. My feeling of alarm is new as well—of living through something unwonted for which I am not properly prepared. Impossible to find fans online—they are all sold out. I summon courage and go to the nearest shop. There is not a single fan left there either, but a kind assistant manages to find one in another branch and arrange to have it delivered to me in a couple of days. (The wait will be oppressive.)

The bus journey back home is infernal. A variant of Camus’s The Stranger in which we stop having any notion of our consciousness; our actions automatic yet slow and on the edge of an equally slow despair. As I board the bus, the heat hits me like an oven (not all London buses have air con, which will give cause to a series of strikes, beginning in August). Somebody says very loudly, as if delirious, that it’s 47 degrees in there. I tell myself it’s impossible, that he has gone mad, and produce my handheld fan, but then something I had never experienced happens, and it makes me wonder if that man is right after all, because, as I fan myself, I don’t get any fresh breeze. I do get some air, but even hotter. I don’t know if that is physically possible; I try again, with equal results. What is going on? I close the fan. The bus makes some very strange noises and stops midway, overheated, defeated. We all get off to wait for the next one. This is London, England, not the Sahara. I am too exhausted to fully experience the fear and alarm, but they are there.

The UK first reached 40°C in 2022. That day I also felt this kind of diffused alarm through the mind fog provoked by the heat. I was returning from Paris, where things were much worse—a bumpy and hallucinatory journey, and London, on arrival, had an ominous and alien atmosphere, but not even then did we reach the extremes of this endless torture.

Very soon, the green of parks, gardens and all of the countryside in the whole country disappears, as if it had never been, and is substituted by dry grass, chaff, baked earth. The sad, dusty trees barely cast any shadow. London has become Pedro Páramo’s Comala. Who knows how the birds, squirrels and other animals are scraping along and finding water. Butterflies persevere, in particular the small white ones that keep on fluttering everywhere, seemingly quite untroubled. It is an incongruous image, for we’re used to seeing their whiteness in contrast against the green that, this year, is by now non-existent.

Soon we are told that this is, officially, a drought. It won’t rain in London for over two months. Every week, the weather forecast tells us that it will rain on such and such a day, but it doesn’t. The forecast simply postpones the rain, until we stop believing in it. In the media, we see photographs of what is happening in the rest of Europe, where the heat is even fiercer: dried up rivers, the tourists trying to protect themselves from the sun with their umbrellas, seeking an oasis in the fountains and rivers of cities whose prestige is suddenly transmuted by the infernal conditions. We start receiving news about the dead; those whose health couldn’t withstand the heat’s onslaught, and the drowned, who plunged desperately into rivers, lakes or the sea, where their body succumbed to the shock brought about by the sudden change of temperature. Soon the pictures show us the damage in the UK as well—the burnt-up fields (which will severely affect the crops); places of emblematic beauty turned into an unrecognizable wasteland, our own diminished rivers and streams. The initial alarm begins to take the shape of a deep sadness, and then it is alarm again, in an unceasing sway, as we read the news about the wildfires in France, Spain and other countries; as we hear of friends in France or in Madrid who can see the ashes, smell the smoke, or know people in neighbouring villages who have been evacuated. The reports and photographs have, no doubt about it, an apocalyptic feel. But this is not a problem of “the continent”; little by little, the wildfires start to ravage the UK as well. The figures differ, but they all coincide on one point—here, between June and August, there have been over one thousand fires, big and small, caused by the heat waves. It is calculated that more than 23,000 hectares have been burnt across the country. Many houses and other properties have been completely destroyed, not to talk about the vegetation, the trees, woods and wildlife… We learn that the close presence of the apocalypse seals your mouth shut. In view of the devastation’s magnitude, of the superhuman efforts of the fire brigades and volunteers against a force which is much bigger than us, we’re truly lost for words.

We no longer feel the desire to plan picnics, that innocent summer pleasure—not on this burnt grass. In a few weeks, this has stopped being altogether William Blake’s “green and pleasant land”.

There is, however, confusion in this stupor. It is the summer, after all, and the sun is shining. In those days when the heat’s grip yields a little (and how soon we get used to saying, ‘today it’s only 34 degrees’!), it is almost possible to forget the cataclysmic dimensions of what we’re living through, of what it really means. Days are very long, and it is always beautiful to have light well into the night; not to talk about the pleasure of wearing light dresses, getting rid at last of the layers of clothing and boots, scarves and hats; the delight of wearing sandals only for days on end. The hallucination has also streaks of joy—a long, endless hot day, which becomes eternal in its repetition. In my case, it’s the onset of flashbacks, of not knowing well where I am. The atmosphere of these hot and dry streets takes me back to the Guadalajara where I grew up… Only that it’s not entirely true. In that Guadalajara, the heat was relieved by those storms that were fearful and delicious all at once; sudden, fleeting, cooling everything down, while here, in London, the sky doesn’t give us a single drop of water. Time and again this summer drags me into a whirlwind of real, present sensations, along with images and memories of my life in Mexico, and many of those moments carry a joy which is the exclusive property of summer and the sun; a way to be in the world, a way to live. By now, we’re all suntanned, as if we lived in Greece, or in Puerto Escondido. No; joy and the sensuous pleasure of warm lands are not absent… until we look again at the withered grass; we see again the news of the devastation; we remember: “This is England. This is not right at all.”

Thus, weeks and months go by, in a kind of delirium in which, sunstruck and exhausted, we barely pay attention to the change of Prime Minister, and we get some respite from Count Binface’s quips during his campaign against Reform’s Nigel Farage for the Clacton-on-Sea by-election.

One day in July, a friend tells me in an email that the day before, in Covent Garden, there was a negligible drizzle for just a few minutes, and people cheered and clapped. God only knows what stray cloud passed over Covent Garden. In the rest of London, not a drop.

Given the drought’s severity, the use of hosepipes has been banned, and there’s not a single blade of grass alive in parks or gardens. One day we walk towards Coal Drops Yard and are surprised by a small area of healthy grass where some young people huddle together, having their lunch. The disappearance of grass has been so absolute that the green in this small, exceptional lawn seems strange to us, an hallucination within the greater hallucination of the drought, and I even wonder whether it’s artificial turf. We touch it: it is real.

Sitting in parks isn’t the same anymore—they no longer look like parks. When by chance there is some breeze, it is dust it carries. One day, sitting silently on a bench in Brunswick Square, I can almost hear a Western’s lone, somewhat ominous guitar strum, and I wouldn’t be at all surprised to see huge tumbleweeds circumventing some dog or squirrel’s bones. The scorched grass is covered with dry leaves, or to be more exact, burnt leaves that don’t resemble in the least autumn’s dry leaves. The dusty trees look utterly sad. I wonder how this autumn will be like, whether we’ll get some of its colour, when the summer has already burnt and brought down so many leaves. One day we see them fall swayed by a slow breeze, hypnotic, strangely beautiful; the strangeness obeys the fact that nothing of what we are seeing corresponds to the place we live in. Another day, all of a sudden a branch of considerable size falls off one of the plane trees, alarming the young woman sitting against its trunk. We don’t know what snapped off the branch, but the first thing that crosses our mind, maybe absurdly and in an entirely unscientific fashion, is “it’s the heat. The branches must be drying up.” The sun burns, it is hardly bearable out of the shade, and yet, inconceivably, there are days when some befuddled people still lie in swimwear on the scorched grass and earth, with their suntan lotion, to fry with pleasure. Like that young woman in bikini, with the attitude of one who sunbathes in a paradisiacal beach (or even in this very park, back then green, last summer). But today, under this sun’s intolerable heat that is killing people, in this wasteland, the image is almost grotesque, incomprehensible. The end of the world’s last suntan.  Every day the parks and squares we often visit look sadder, the trees more desolate, and it hurts to look at them.

On the 12th of August we arrive in Wales, where we will spend some days at some friends’ house. The view from the train’s window is disconcerting. There is nothing left from the green fields and slopes that are the very essence of this country’s geography. It’s like watching a well-known film revealed in different colours. As we get off the train in Newport, we’re received by an oven’s mouth. It is even hotter than London. The River Usk is alarmingly dried-up. J. picks us up at the station. We go first to the supermarket to buy groceries, and suddenly, as I get off the car, it’s like a childhood déjà vu—a shopping centre’s car park in McAllen, Texas, travelling with my family, in torrid weather that, there and then, was normal. But in Wales?

Our friends’ house is an old farm near Arthur Machen’s Caerleon. I have visited this area before—dense forest, and intensely green arcadian fields and hills. Now, however, as we meander through narrow rural roads, the effect is one of perplexity: I recognise the landscape’s forms, the architecture of the few buildings and farms we pass by, but all the colour has disappeared, giving way to burnt grass. Vague flashbacks of travelling in my childhood through Jalisco’s motorways come back. Where am I? This is in no way the landscape of The Hill of Dreams, where Lucian Taylor, Machen’s febrile and tormented hero, experiences the awakening of his sexuality on an intense summer, amidst an explosion of green.

Early in the evening we climb the hill next to the house. It is a low hill, barely steep; the climb hardly requires effort, but the heat is still overwhelming. We sit on the parched grass to see the eclipse. Tiny flowers, buttercups and clover have survived. The eclipse proceeds slowly, with its silence; its singular twilight spreads softly over the fields and brings along the relief of fresh breeze. Though it’s almost total, that “almost” makes a big difference; the darkness is not so dramatic, it is much more subtle, but the transformation’s delicacy and parsimony are balm for body and soul. Through the protective glasses we can see the moon’s progress as it covers the sun, the deity that is torturing us so this summer and which, however, keeps on being our magnificent, life-giving star. Our earth is a prodigy of chance; the unlikely but perfect balance, the optimal distance from the central star of this solar system for life to be possible. What is happening to this earth these days is not a wrathful god’s punishment, but the consequence of our human actions.

For the rest of our stay in Wales, the heat is too much to make “a walk in the countryside” desirable. What countryside? During the day we find shelter on the ground floor, fresh thanks to the old farm’s thick walls, and it is only in the evening that we go out to eat in the garden. One evening, all the mobile phones start beeping in unison with a strident alarm, and we get several times the same text message, titled severe alert in English, but the rest is all in Welsh. The only thing we understand is “999”, the emergencies number. None of us speaks Welsh, but we all intuit that the alarm must be related to the heat and the wildfires. Is there a fire near us? Will we have to evacuate the area? Later, at long last, we get the message in English. It was sent to every phone, all across the country, to tell us that the likelihood of wildfires throughout the nation due to the drought is very high; that we must be extremely careful and not light fires of any kind out of doors, nor make barbecues.

On the train back, I focus my attention on one of the most glorious sunsets I have ever seen, ignoring, as far as I can, the gang of football hooligans that shout and provoke, barely keeping behind the verge of violence, and who, unbelievably, can’t see the majestic spectacle. But I see it, with reverence. The sun is still sovereign.

In London, to look at Brunswick Square from the terrace or large windows of the café across, where I often go to write, is one of my routine pleasures. As the summer progresses this year, that pleasure gets entangled with strands of sadness, as I see the trees ever more withered, yellowish and dusty; a desert of scorched earth and dry grass covered by leaves that are also scorched, untimely dry. One afternoon I think that I must not avert my gaze; that the love we have for the infinite spaces on this earth must remain firm even as they burn; that if we look away we lose our love for them, and if we lose the love, we lose the world and ourselves—we give up. And what other thing is that love, if not a deep and lucid appreciation of the existence of things, of the value inherent to that existence? One late afternoon, the sunbeams on a patch of dry grass make it look like pale gold.

Monty Python’s Eric Idle writes in The Times about his anxiety and uncertainty, having been evacuated twice from his home in the south of France because of the wildfires. All sorts of people, of renown or no renown at all, bear witness to their distress. Those who have lost their homes razed by fire talk about their incredulity, a stunned despair. Two trains are derailed in the UK, because the tracks aren’t designed to adapt to such high temperatures. It is estimated that the heat this summer has caused around 3,000 deaths in the country. It’s impossible to keep track of the news and photographs that record the gravity of the circumstances, from their most Dantesque scale to the most humble. Two images stick in my mind—a bat rescued from a toilet, where it fell looking for water, and a half-burnt field mouse saved by firemen.

Andy Burnham, the new Prime Minister, tries to convince us, without much success, that during the transition from fossil fuels to green energy—which unfortunately, he says, cannot be immediate—to keep drilling in the North Sea is better for the economy and causes less environmental impact. Burnham’s promises regarding social justice are laudable and I agree with them all, but he doesn’t seem to have registered yet the gravity of the climate emergency. I write to my MP to ask her to remind him that social justice cannot exist on a dead planet.

They tell us that El Niño is already underway, and that it will be the most severe one in living memory; that autumn and winter will be stormy beyond our imagination, winter very cold, and that summer in 2027 will probably be like this one, or far worse. The government advises us to stockpile water and food in case we’re left without energy, in case we’re trapped in some vague kind of disaster. The sensation that something essential is being wrenched away from us is almost physical; I feel it in my chest. The wait for summer in these latitudes, during the long winters, is usually an exercise in patience linked to a hope inherent to the renovation of life’s cycles. It isn’t the wait for hell, for unbearable heat, for devastating fire. Are we losing summer forever? And, along with it, the very foundations of this form of hope?

Little by little the temperature begins to abate, to resemble that of a normal summer. Clouds start gathering. Imminent rain is promised. Although some friends living up north tell me that, over there, it is already raining, in London, during a couple of muggy weeks, we wait for the rain every day, watching the clouds take all their wondrous shapes and then dissolve, but no rain comes. One day at noon, sitting on a bench, I feel the pinprick of three drops of water on  my face. And that is all.

Until it comes, at last. Early one morning I awake with its tapping on rooftop and windows, and I remain in bed for a while, listening to it, feeling a simple, deep joy. Days of alternating rain and sunshine follow; some are still hot, others fresh. I enjoy the scent of petrichor, which I had forgotten. One afternoon there is a sudden, brief, heavy storm followed by hot sunshine, which leads me back again to the memory of those storms in the Guadalajara of my youth. The sense of relief is immense. And how magnificent, the roar of thunder! But the scars of disaster remain: the parched earth, the desolate-looking parks. I look closely at the grass everywhere, in the hope to see it grow green again. (It will—slowly, miraculously, during the rainy days that will follow in September.)

One day I feel around me the beginning of autumn’s unmistakable air and light, so difficult to describe, suggesting a serenity that has been lacking this brutal summer. Later, the heat comes back, but it is moderate, reminding us of what a normal summer in England feels like, and the soul finds respite.

And then, the Nepal avalanche, caused by a glacier collapse. None of the above is a warning—this summer has written on the wall in very big letters the consummation of innumerable warnings that we have ignored. To now ignore their consummation amounts to absolute surrender, and to a forlornness from which the rich and powerful who so far have believed themselves invulnerable won’t be exempted. Do we need to find ourselves all on our knees to give back to the earth (to every single corner of the earth that holds us in our everyday life) that loving gaze that is needed to save it? To save ourselves. It is an urgent question. We are already too close to too late.

Today there’s a light drizzle. At the gate of the block of flats where B. lives, a very green, sole weed makes its way with brio through the flagstones.

Foto de simon en Unsplash

Adriana Díaz-Enciso es poeta, narradora y traductora. Ha publicado las novelas La sed, Puente del cielo, Odio y Ciudad doliente de Dios, inspirada en los Poemas proféticos de William Blake; los libros de relatos Cuentos de fantasmas y otras mentiras y Con tu corazón y otros cuentos, y seis libros de poesía. Su más reciente publicación, Flint (una elegía y diario de sueños, escrita en inglés) puede encontrarse aquí.

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